You’re happy and that is all that should matter
I shouldn’t be the one to make you feel badly about getting what you finally deserve
And I don’t want to make this about me
But every word you say about her cuts into me
The joy she brings you makes me feel a new level of dispair
Not because I don’t want you happy
But because I want to be the one to do it
I want to make you smile when I text you about how beautiful I think you are
And to see the way your freckles dance across your cheeks when you laugh at something I said
The first person you call, the last person you talk to every night.
To have you be able to feel the warmth you bring me
I’m unhappy because I can’t have that
And because I can’t just be normal and accept the circumstances
I’m not what you need
No matter how much I fight it
The truth still remains
You don’t want me.
Do you ever like someone so much it almost hurts? Like every time you think about them your heart beats in a way that makes your chest shake and your mind just runs circles around the idea of them thinking about you the way you think about them. And every time you see them or talk with them hours fly by and you just feel their grip on your heart tightening to a point where you don’t even know what you have control over any more. Every part of me aches for someone who won’t leave what is for what could be and it’s killing me how much I wish I could just kiss your cheek or feel your arm around my waist. The line between lust and love is non existent because you feel as if anything physical is so close but so far it’s not even worth distinguishing. Yeah. It sucks
